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Easy Listening, Gone Bad
"Seduce My Mind And You Can Have My Body, Find My soul And Im Yours Forever."
Recent Entries 
5th-Jun-2006 10:13 pm - Long Time Gone
I feel it necessary to explain further things that have been going on in my life since forever ago.

My father has not gone from this world to this day. He was gone and the ambulance revived him, he has since been on life support. My downward spiral has been bc of my sister and I fighting over his treatment. She believes it is time to pull the plug, I however do not. He is responsive, and the doctors say he can pull out of this, but they think he has given up. Is it so wrong that I have not? I will not give up on my father. He never gave up on me. I threw myself into my work, and neglected myself, as well as many friends.

To my friends (if they read this)~~~
I understand your anger, and maybe even resentment. I will not apologise for my behaviour! I have gone through more than a woman should at my age, and any friend (true) should understand and forgive. If you cannot forgive and move on, then go away!

I am on my way back to the old me, but before i can go on, I need all of you to know I wont tolerate it. I dont need any negative bullshit in my life! My sister gives me enough. I need real honest and true friends, if this does not describe you, then time to move on!

Now on to some more pleasant things.....

I have been ordered to stay here for two weeks. Boss said i need to relax, and get laid. Problem is I would have to leave the hotel, and frankly i like it inside where it is quiet, and i can stay in my jammies all day long! I have been delving into the fray alot. (music group) Here is a song i cant stop humming....

Look After You The Fray lyrics
Artist: The Fray
Album: How To Save A Life
Year: 2005
Title: Look After You

If I don't say this now I will surely break
As I'm leaving the one I want to take
Forgive the urgency but hurry up and wait
My heart has started to separate

Oh, oh,
Be my baby
Oh, oh
Be my baby
I'll look after you

There now, steady love, so few come and don't go
Will you won't you, be the one I always know
When I'm losing my control, the city spins around
You're the only one who knows, you slow it down

Oh, oh
Be my baby
Oh, oh
Be my Baby
I'll look after you
And I'll look after you

If ever there was a doubt
My love she leans into me
This most assuredly counts
She says most assuredly

Oh, oh
Be my baby
Oh, oh
be my baby
I'll look after you

It's always have and never hold
You've begun to feel like home
What's mine is yours to leave or take
What's mine is yours to make your own

Oh, oh
Be my baby
Oh, oh
Be my baby
I'll look after you

How many men do you know truly mean that? How many friends even have stayed through thick and thin? Ok back to reading, I will write more. Hugs to those who are real and true.......
2nd-Nov-2005 07:21 am - Easy Listening Took Life Wrong
life is pain
Life goes by in the blink of an eye........ Ever hear that before? I am writing this as my possible last entry. My father has passed, and I have taken a dive myself. Things are off course for me, and men are the same. Not going to sit here and bash anyone. I want to apologise to my friends that I have lost contact with. You have done nothing wrong. The old saying it's not you, it's me...... This time it is true. I have become lost, I have no idea what I do when I wake up. I know I get paid, other than that I lose track of time. I dont even know what city I am in right now. Cant understand the damn translator at work. I dont know what to say to anyone.... Be well, and tell the ppl you love that you love them EVERY chance you get. Love to all of you......... bye
23rd-Sep-2005 04:10 pm - Long Overdue Update
Been ages since I have written anything. I have been so busy with my new job. It is kind of cool, bc in less than 24 hours I will be another year older :) My father is still not doing good, but life shall go on. Work is awesome, I get to go to Belgium again!! I cant wait. I am really excited. I got to catch up with an ex boyfriend, with whom I realised I still loved. Too much time has gone by though I think for anything to actually happen. My niece flew back with me, she called her dad a few hours ago, and told him she loved australia, and she was not coming home. LOL, My brother has other plans for her. Everything is going good for me, life is truly nice. I need to go make dinner, but if I get a chance I will write more, and catch up on a few emails. Sorry Ryan *HUGS* ttyl ev1
Who would have thought within 16 questions you would know your IQ....
Your IQ Is 130
Your Logical Intelligence is Exceptional Your Verbal Intelligence is Genius Your Mathematical Intelligence is Genius Your General Knowledge is Exceptional
life is pain

I have been away for awhile now. On holidays. (omg cant say vacation.. LOL) I have learned why I live in australia, dont misunderstand what I am about to say, because, in fact ignorance is everywhere. I suppose I notice it more while in the states visiting family and friends. Thus the rules of intelligence..........Better named as "MY RANT"

1.  When going outdoors, please be sure to wear clothing. This does include, but NOT limited to the following.... Shirt, Shorts, Shoes....... Please do not go to Target wearing your lingerie!  And yes, lingerie... This girl was wearing a nightie, and was in fact arrested. Nor show up for a family reunion wearing a see through bathing suit, and then claim you are going to become a nun..... FFS we could see her breasts, and other bits!

2.  When saying hello, try and keep all your saliva in your mouth. No one wants your left overs!

3.  If you are bringing a pet to a family function, please be sure it is trained. I personally do not want a dog humping my leg, nor does grandmother want piss on her toes!

4.  If you are going to go somewhere with a friend, and they say..... Hey lets meet at starbucks, you show and she in turn has some glorified FREAK as a double date, please be prepared for the person to leave!

5. If you are fortunate to take a girl out on a date that you in fact do like, best to let her know your intentions before hand, thus making it easier, well better than getting slapped for your behavior!

6. If you are driving on the freeway, and someone is trying to merge with traffic, please understand, it is THEIR  ignorance that they cannot merge!

7. When sending someone to get milk at the store, do us all a favor and specify that you want "fat free, not 1% milk" Thus saving another trip!

8.  When purchasing something at walmart, remember they have this job for a reason, just like those at mcdonalds. Do not expect an intelligent life form..... Example...... going through drive thru at mcdonalds...... I order a #1 no pickle, extra cheese, no salt fries, large with a coke. Now does that sound like rocket science? You leave the pickle off, put another piece of cheese on it, and dont put salt on my fries....... This is what I got, no joke! Fish fillet sandwich with mac sauce, Big mac plain, 2 small fries, and orange soda...... First where the hell did the fish sandwich come from , let alone with mac sauce...... and a plain big mac, GROSS. the rest is just the icing on the cake.  Walmart, I bought some shampoo, tampons, razor refills, deodorant, body lotion and some toilet paper .... The lady says this....... So you ran out of personal items or are you just stocking up? Being the smartass I am, I told her I had already stocked up for the new age coming, and that I was purchasing them for my father. That he had just experienced a sex change, and needed special stuff. OMG she believed me. She said, Wow and he has periods too? Could she be that dumb?

9. Something that is really upsetting...... Road rage, yes I have it, but only towards ignorance, and not deadly  either, I dont tailgate, but I will slam on my breaks if you are tailgating me, unless I am in my viper, then I just out run your stupid ass. Well the other day this ambulance had their lights on, so naturally I pulled over, this other ignorant driver did not see, or something, and kept on going. The ambulance did however get around them. Another driver honked at the stupid driver, and they in turn thought it was me and began to follow me. I let them but was not happy, they were tailgating me while I was driving my viper. In California, when someone hits you from behind they are at fault, in 99% of the cases. However I dont want my viper touched! So I led them to the police station. They, being IGNORANT had not noticed where we were ( I had called the police on the way there) proceeded to get out of there car and hit mine with there fists, in front of the police station.... Needless to say intelligence prevailed... They are now sitting behind bars, on more than one account! Ha, Losers!!!  : )

If you were to get a deep wound would you in fact get back into the ocean and continue surfing? My response a few of you know... HELL YA!!! lol, I have a shark shield, so why worry right? LOL, yes I am a bit stupid, but crap... I will not pass up a good wave for nothing not even an injury! (notice I did not make that a number...... LOL)

10. When using a cell phone and driving, be kind enough to continue driving. And if you cannot tackle both at the same time...... Pull your dumb ass over. This erks me to no end. I mean if you cant tell when the light has changed, or that you are doing 15 miles below the speed limit........ PULL OVER!!!!!! Or at least allow me to shove the phone up....... well yeah up there!

Funny thing happened today, that happens alot. Why do guys insist on pulling up next to you and making this ridiculous face, you know the one. They are in there pimp mobile, slumped down in the seat, one hand on the wheel, and they look at you like hey, ain't I cool? I cant help it, maybe I am too much of a snob, but laughing and driving off is too easy. I mean if a guy honestly thinks I am going to just melt into his arms, because of his car, or his looks.... Umm, they need an ego check!

Something else I dont get...... Why is it when you take off your shirt on the beach a man automatically thinks you need sunscreen? Or that you need him to put it on.. If you are looking for an excuse to touch a girl, why not just say....... Hey I wanted to touch your body and thought you would say no, so can I put sunscreen on your back, and we could both get some pleasure from it? Yeah that is a bit much, but I would let you put sunscreen on my back, and the other guy would be like holy crap that worked? Yes guys, honesty works, no matter how lame you sound! Girls actually prefer honesty.

BTW....... Holly, Manny, Sam, Gary, Jacob, Quinn....... Its a Pollystouffer!! Get it right!




18th-Jul-2005 08:46 pm(no subject)

Your Slanguage Profile

Aussie Slang: 100%
Prison Slang: 75%
British Slang: 25%
Canadian Slang: 25%
New England Slang: 25%
Southern Slang: 25%
Victorian Slang: 0%

Guess I could go to prison and understand the hoodlums..... LOL
18th-Jul-2005 08:05 pm - Thoughts...... of a Broken (?)
life is pain

Then compressed voices end there laughing vaporized eyes. Behind my laugh; clouded with soft stinging cries, of places and people burned subtle, to a specific pattern of a day's desire. For, quick, blind time, billowing squares into what was over and found.  Everything taken! Left with love was burning inside. This place has evacuated outside into sun kissed cheeks.

You say a piece of your heart......  A piece does not keep you warm at night, A piece does not hold you, A piece does not say things that touch and posses your very being, A piece is not complete. A piece you say?  Ponder the thought when you say take every little bit of my heart. Think of the pieces you have to make to give a complete heart. Think of the heartache you have given and restored when you gave it away. Remember the broken pieces once mended, now needing more repair, is no longer complete. A piece you say, a piece you have not to give!

I used to write in another journal on here. I took both of these entries from there. I stopped writing in it bc I found that ppl judge you TOO MUCH!!!  Being around my family these past few days, I have learned yet another thing about myself, and other ppl for that matter. When you look at someone regardless of what you think you see or feel, it is impulse. Never correct in thought. Think about it, the next time you look at someone what is your first thought? Well if you are anything like me you try to figure out what they are thinking, or going to do. Why do we find it hard to just ask? And why do we not believe in what they say to be true? I think it is in part bc of our past mistakes, or our past painful experiences, that we do not think they are correct...... I ran into a lot of old friends, that I left behind. "left" being the key word, i forgot them, and moved on. What kind of friend does that? Horrible really.  But you know something, not one of them threw it up in my face. Instead they had open arms. I have been meaning to email a current friend, and have not done so. I have been putting it off, in fear of what I might say. Is it appropriate to be so hard on oneself? Should I just give it up, and be who I am, or hurt them? What if what I say does not hurt them but makes them happy? Do you ever question things that just are? Do you ever think your not, but then wake up and see what is? What do you dream when you sleep, does it become your reality?  I bet to you I sound totally confused or lost right now. Funny thing is I was before today. Hope you are well, and feeling at your best. ~winks~

11th-Jul-2005 06:45 am(no subject)
I stole this from ozgenre......
If there is someone on your friends list you would love to have an epic, sweaty, damn near legendary, 12 hour fuckathon with, post this same exact sentence in your journal.

However I do not want to F them, would rather it last longer than that, and mean more. And I am not going to say whether or not if they are on my friends list or not! HA
9th-Jul-2005 02:27 pm(no subject)
I found the song.. It is called Silent Night..... http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/585867/posts  scroll down and you can download it.
9th-Jul-2005 02:05 pm(no subject)
I am having the worst time with my pc clock. It is trippin on me. Goes from the correct time to some really strange times. I have reformatted once, did not work. Any suggestions? I leave tomorrow, headed for Cali. Not sure if I am going to leave as scheduled.... On a sad note though, a friend of mine (Jennifer)was one of the ones who died in London. She was going to her bf's house and never made it. I did not want to post it in here, but I spoke to her the night before. She was thrilled about getting over to him, she had a surprise for him. She was coming back here for a visit on the 16th. Her dad turns 58 on the 19th. She used to be my roommate, and she moved to London bc he went back to take care of his mother who is getting older. She has left behind a daughter (Caitlin) 2 years old.  Gary (Jenn's dad) has her. She is sitting on my couch right now. Poor thing has no idea where her mom is. I think gary is going to ask me to take her. Caitlin has known me since she was born. Her papa (gary) was not around. I do not know what to do, he has mentioned it already. Gary is not coping well, he had some things that were never settled between him and Jenn. He is staying here for the night with Cait. I dont even know what to say. He has been asleep for awhile now. Her body was pretty bad. I feel like crap, he asked me to go with him, and I said I was busy. I knew I could not handle it. I lost several very close friends in 9/11, and had to go identify 2 friends. Jenn was diagnosed with breast cancer two years ago, and she had it beat, and now this. Her bf turns 34 tomorrow, and is not talking to anyone atm. He had planned on proposing to her this September. They have been together almost 3 years now. Very close, and perfect together. I wish we could find the jerkoffs who did this put them on an island and torture them for the rest of there lives, let ev1 who has been hurt by them hit them one time. I dont think they would last very long, but it would make me feel better briefly to hit them. Maybe the chair. Nuke them.... I know it would not bring my friends back, but I am beginning to think they will not be caught. My hope is depleting. Faith in the ppl who are trying to stop this is about gone. It is almost like the fukwits responsible are invincible. Sorry to all the men and women who are fighting to stop all this, I know you are trying your hardest, but my faith is just dying. This is taking a toll on me. Jenn was my best friend over here. We went through a lot together. I was the only there when Cait was born. I was the one there when she was getting treated for breast cancer. Not there when she past, she was alone... Missin Jenn I think I will make a site for those who have died from all of this. All around the world. Pictures of the ones lost, but not forgotten. This is a good site, the song makes me cry. It is for 9/11 though..... http://www.jontzen.com/tribute.htm I was looking for the song that helped Jenn and I get through 9/11 but I cant find it anywhere. It is music playing in the background and a man talking. (God) he says he was there in the moment with you on the stairs. He even asks where were you on that fateful day.... If anyone can find it please let me know.
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